Please tell me every working mom feels guilty….guilty for working and being away from their children and then feeling guilty when they are with their children they are burnt out from working. Oy….I feel like I just can’t find the balance. I am learning though….there really is no balance. I have learned since I started my business…I must set boundaries for myself. I must discipline myself to turn off the “work” and just relax with my family. I do not want to look back 10 years from now, and say….”I missed that because I had to work”….or….”I am not sure why I was not there with my girls….I am sure I was working on something”.
I am so thankful for the wonderful job and business that I have…but I will say…I am the toughest boss I have ever had. Now I just need to learn to be nicer to myself and in turn love on my children a little more by giving them my full attention. That being said…the big photograph below is of Noelle “asking” to be picked up and held by me for the 100th time a few days ago….she always wants to be held and I just sigh and pick her up. When I saw this image, I again felt guilty for feeling like I was being bothered by her to pick her up. Norah reminded me yesterday that my girls are growing up so fast. She grabbed our old video camera and we watched some clips on it of when she was Noelle’s age…again the guilt. She has grown up so fast and I feel like I am never giving enough. So that all being said….I know I am “normal”….but I don’t like being normal in this way….however, I will get up tomorrow and go to work, and thank God for giving me a job that I truly love, and then I will go home and shut off the computer and just hug my girls and thank God for my little babies, and soak in the present with them….I hope you do the same.
I love you Norah and Noelle, you deserve the very best…I will keep trying. XOXO